This post is coming a bit later in the day. Late night is more like it. But I was up to 6am in the morning with two or three naps throughout the day before. So needless to say, I got a not so early start. But I had to do this confession anyway because well I said I would and I was having a battle of the mind earlier. It went something like this: "Oh God, what have I done to myself?" "Why would I allow myself to believe anything good could happen?" "I must be the biggest idiot around". "What am I thinking?" "If I would just walk away now I might be able to save myself." "Perhaps I am no more and will achieve no more than what is right now." "Oh God why would you do this to me." "Where is this going?" "Stupid stupid girl." "I hate you devil you no good nothing." I get upset with everyone even my biggest ally, the Lord which I know is absolutely ridiculous but those feelings and emotions start playing on ya. I just get to disappointed because I'm like, "Lord really?" "He is supposed to be for me. I am doing all that I can." It's not good but that is the battle that tries to take root.
Then I was thinking I just need to move from L.A. again as I usually do but try not to because I know the Lord has told me to stop thinking about that. But it is so tempting. Now check this out. No sooner than I had that thought and it was about to take root, I turned on Pandora and a song, I think by Toby Mac, had just started and the third line in the first verse said, "I'm packing my bags to leave when I am supposed to stay." It's makes me cry right now because that one line in that one moment I believed was God talking to me. It was no coinkydink. It happened so fast that if I wasn't conscious in my thoughts at the time I would have missed it. After that another song came on by someone "West" (first name or last name) and it said, "I am not defined by the wreckage of the past. My name is Child of God." How amazing God is! He can speak to you in so many ways. "Wow Lord you are the only living God. Thank you for speaking to me." Then I saw a text from my sister friend NicoleSconiers.com:
Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
Look at God! God says in Isaiah 55:8, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." Then I finally read my index cards and was able to get back on track. I came across one about what I have been called to do.I will tell you right now I don't know where this is going. I have put literally everything into it. At times I can't even see how it can get better. But I know this:
Romans 4:17
(As it is written, I have made you a father of many nations,) before him whom he believed, even God, who gives life to the dead, and calls those things which are not as though they were.
Wow so many scriptures are coming to me now and as they come I cry out each one. So I am led to print them.
Hebrews 11:3
By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.
Romans 4:18
Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be."
Isaiah 48:13
My own hand laid the foundations of the earth, and my right hand spread out the heavens; when I summon them, they all stand up together.
Hebrews 4:12
Romans 4:17
(As it is written, I have made you a father of many nations,) before him whom he believed, even God, who gives life to the dead, and calls those things which are not as though they were.
Wow so many scriptures are coming to me now and as they come I cry out each one. So I am led to print them.
Hebrews 11:3
By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.
Romans 4:18
Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be."
Isaiah 48:13
My own hand laid the foundations of the earth, and my right hand spread out the heavens; when I summon them, they all stand up together.
Matthew 19:27-30
Peter answered him, “We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?”
Jesus said
to them, “Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son
of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also
sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone
who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife
or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much
and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and
many who are last will be first.
For the word of God is living, and powerful, and sharper than any
two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and
spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts
and intents of the heart.
So there! Those are the ones that came to me as I have been writing this post.
Confession:
I thank, You, Christ Jesus my Lord for enabling me and counting me faithful, putting me into the ministry. I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength. I am like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its
fruit in its season, whose leaf shall not wither; and whatever I set my hands to
shall prosper. Thank You, Father that Satan's plan for my life has been destroyed and Your plan for my life has been enforced and established by Your Word. I am not defined by the wreckage of the past but by my name "Child of God". Thank You for Your love emanating from me that has the power to transform the lives of those I come in contact with. I'm like a fountain and the healing anointing and power of God flows through me. My life radiates with the love of Jesus causing the healing anointing to reach out to others wherever they may have a need. Thank You that I've been anointed by Christ the Anointed one to remove every burden and destroy every yoke of bondage in relationships, finances, healing and assuring overcoming victory in every area. The spirit of the Lord is upon me because You have anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor, to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, the recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised and to preach the acceptable year of the Lord. I bind and release anything hindering my walk with You Father. You have given me victory over every circumstance and trial in this life that would attempt to hinder Your call or purpose in my life. In, Jesus name. Amen!
1 Timothy 1:2
Galatians 3:26
Philippians 4:13
Psalm 1:3
Philippians 4:13
Psalm 1:3
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